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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24316687">Bury Us Alive</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliae/pseuds/eliae'>eliae</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hemlock Grove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood Magic, Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Werewolves, Witchcraft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:21:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,374</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24316687</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliae/pseuds/eliae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Reports of a white wolf and a vandilized grave only confirm what they already knew: chaos followed Roman Godfrey everywhere. Time's running out, he needs to find Nadia, he has to curve his thirst, and every full moon brings the possibility of death.</p><p>PART III</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Rumancek/Original Female Character(s), Roman Godfrey/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Destiny Rumancek had done sketchy things in her life. She'd scammed people, she'd performed dangerous spells, she'd cleaned up more blood than she could remember- but this over shadowed that. </p><p>The sun hasn't made its debut for the day, only an indigo sky providing minimal assistant to the eye. The trees only make it more difficult. Not wanting to draw any attention with a flashlight, she wanders almost blindly through the trail, dragging a shovel behind her the whole way. Her backpack rattles with the sound of glass jars.</p><p>Destiny follows the path of little red strings tied around various trees and bushes to guide her way. When she's finally at the end of her hidden trail she pauses to take in the carnage around her. Then, she digs.</p><p>She digs, and digs, and digs, until she's physically sore and no longer feels cold.. The hole is barely three feet deep. She takes a few moments to catch her breath before getting out of the pathetic excuse for a hole.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Self Fulfilled Prophecy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nineteen.</p><p>Roman Godfrey was nineteen years old and he didn't like himself very much. But, not that many people would know that. He had spent his life puffing out his chest and acting confident. Sometimes even he forgot it was an act. It always came back to haunt him in moments like these- when he's quickly coming down and feeling what little serotonin he has left slipping away.</p><p>His whole body had been fully electrified, but it's slowly becoming numb again. The world around him starts feeling grey and bland again.</p><p>Emma lays almost still on the bed. It had been a long day- well not really. They had awoken in the afternoon and spent the rest of the sunlight swimming and relaxing on the deck of their villa. The villa's next to theirs was filled with small families on vacation. When they would walk past the parents in the evening the would side-eye them. Not in a judgmental way per se. They looked at them with some odd sense of nostalgia and jealousy. They, at one point, had also spent their weeks trashed on a vacation that daddy paid for.</p><p>In the sunshine, they split a couple of mojitos. Due to his upir birthright, Roman's tolerance was higher than she remembered. He was already a tall guy with the ability to drink most grown men under the table, but this was absurd. He often tippled the amount of her intake- whether in alcohol or other substances.</p><p>The resort knew it's clientele well enough to keep their minibar stocked and their eyes diverted from said substances.</p><p>Roman leans forward a bit, then lays over top of her. His face is buried in the comforter and stays still. She's sure he's asleep. Before she frees herself from his weight, he pushes himself up and back to life.</p><p>Regardless of those distractions, Roman Godfrey did not like himself very much. It's a moment of clarity in the haze he's been living in. He's stumbled over to a glass table and accidentally caught a glimpse of his reflection. In the flurry of white powder that's messily spread around, he sees just how tired he looks. He almost resembles the kid that had cut his chest right open while being blown- just to scare a woman.</p><p>He looks tired and sad. Roman closes his eyes to push it away. When he opens them he uses a card and pushes a line of the powder to cover his reflection. He leans forward and snorts it quickly then rubs his nose. With a quick bounce on the balls of his feet, he's back. This is who he wants to be all the time. Roman used his finger to gather the remaining, lone specks of cocaine.</p><p>Emma watches from the other side of the room as Roman haphazardly moves around. He had left her lying there on the bed without an explanation. She fades back into a haze and watches him walk back to the table. He moves awkwardly, naked, and stumbling over his own feet. It's silly enough to make her chuckle.</p><p>She closes her eyes and waits for him to come back. Emma thinks she might fall asleep until feels his fingers pressing at her lips. She complies and allows him to rub the remaining cocaine into her gums.</p><p>She opens her eyes at the sudden sensation and looks up at him.</p><p>Life had gone on whether he wanted it to or not. Every week that passed he became less and less confidant in finding Nadia. And with every drop in confidence, he'd find some way to fill its spot. That's when Roman began acting his age.</p><p>Through all of the distractions, guilt over losing Nadia lingered in his mind. Sometimes he would catch himself zoning out and forgetting where he is. It would only be a couple of seconds, but it would be difficult to shake off.</p><p>Emma had always prided herself on not developing any addictions. Well, drug addictions anyways. She had come to terms with the slight alcohol abuse that happened in her senior year of high school. But, at least she was a high functioning alcoholic. She had managed to make it through her fair share of school days with either a hangover or a small to moderate buzz.</p><p>They were anything but functioning. In fact, the only way they were able to participate in any part of the day was to use more. Roman, along with being a long-time user, is basically super-human. His tolerance at times triples her own.</p><p>They both shared the overwhelming desire to be anyone other than themselves. That's what their trips were- just theatrics. They show up to these places and trying to blend in with the life of socialites and debutantes. It would be easy that way. But that's not the life they live.</p><p>Roman had been especially prone to up and leaving. On more than one occasion she had been awoken in the early hours of the morning and told to pack a bag. Those weren't always short trips either. One had been two days in New York, followed by 7 days in the Maldives. It had been exhausting, to say the least.</p><p>Emma's unsure about when he finds time to actually work. He would take a phone call here or there, but it seemed like simply being Roman Godfrey was his job. He was a brand on his own now.  A little sideshow that the company could use to distract from their less than ethical behavior.</p><p><em>"Roman Godfrey is the young, sexy, charismatic, and tolerable Elon Musk,"  </em>read an article from<em> Bloomberg Business</em>. "<em>Godfrey is an enigma in how own right. Somehow, he has managed to maintain a balance between his public and private life." </em></p><p>The world cared more about what and who Roman was doing. So much of his life had been made public without consent. From now on this was his life and people would see him how he wanted to be seen.</p><p>Apart from tagging along with Roman, Emma had effectively done nothing all summer. Time had slipped away so fast, and before she knew it August had rolled around. She had been in relatively good health, minus the drug and alcohol consumption, and was trying to pick herself back up again.</p><p>After all, no one was left guilt-free.</p><p>She hadn't been home in a long time, either. After meeting with Finn, she went home. Then she came back to Roman's and never left. Emma arrived with a backpack and the clothes on her back. Anything she'd need Roman bought. She didn't want to go home- and she didn't have to.</p><p>So on the fourth day of their current trip, she hesitates to answer her phone. She and her mother hadn't been on the greatest of terms as of recent. Emma will admit that she instigated it but admittedly denies fault. It had all began after she confronted her mother with the information brought her.</p><p>
  <em>"What are you trying to do?" Kay asks. "Disappoint yourself more?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm trying to figure out why no one will tell me the fucking truth about anything!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Okay, Emma you want the truth?" She nods slowly and feels her stomach drop to the floor. "Your father was useless drunk. He probably still is. After you were born, there would be days where I had no idea where he was or if he was coming back. I worked my ass off to get us out that and this is how you repay me? By calling me a liar?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do those papers tell you about how I came home from class one night and the two of you were gone? Do they say anything about him stumbling back in with you at midnight? You're lucky he didn't kill you that night. You're lucky you were too young to remember that. You're lucky he left."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It was not easy, either. I didn't have a plan-anywhere to go... All I had was a two year old and an eviction notice. You wanna know why I didn't want you to know these things? Because I didn't want you to think of yourself as a statistic. Because-" Kay taps two fingers down on the file in front of her. "On paper that's what you are. A statistic."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"How do you tell a little girl that her father doesn't want to see her? That he doesn't give a damn about- never did and never will. Is that the truth you want to hear?"</em>
</p><p>She was buried neck-deep in lies. Lies from her mother, but mostly lies from Roman. It proved easier to remain angry at her mother than Roman. She had a million questions left unanswered from him that she somehow found herself afraid to ask. Emma doesn't doubt that Roman would tell the truth, but maybe that's the problem. It's easier not to know.</p><p>Before letting herself linger in it anymore, she answers the phone. "Hello?" Emma says unenthusiastically.</p><p>"Are you having fun?" Kay asks. Under the cheerful tone is bubbling anger. Emma wishes that Kay Parker would just say whatever it really is she called to say.</p><p>"Yep," Emma says.</p><p>"That's nice," she says with a sarcastically nice tone, finally letting it free. "One of my coworkers showed me something the other day."</p><p>"Oh, yeah?" Emma yawns.</p><p>"Yeah, it was a photo of you and Roman doing what appears to be cocaine."</p><p>"What?" She hadn't expected that at all.</p><p>"Yeah, that was my reaction. Apparently, that little group you were hanging around is popular enough to end up on E! News' Instagram account."</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about," she insists but knows her mom won't bite.</p><p>"These things follow you around, Emma. All it takes is a little Google search. When you go in for a job interview how are you going to explain that?"</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about mom-" she sits up straight. "We haven't been hanging around anyone."</p><p>"Sure, Emma," Kay says coldly. "Regardless, I suggest you take a look at what else has been posted of you two."</p><p>Emma hangs up and quickly digs through her feed looking for the photos. The first one her mom had brought up didn't worry her that much. She wasn't tagged or even mentioned in the caption. They were surrounded by others, and far more important, people.</p><p>The other ones that she is tagged in are a bit lewder than she would like to admit. There's a little more groping than she's comfortable with other people seeing. But how was she supposed to know someone would take them? What kind of person takes photos without telling other people? Especially somewhere they had clearly expected privacy.</p><p>It's not like it had been that bad in person. The photos were bad timing. There was one awkwardly cropped one of them on their balcony. That one really was too far.</p><p>Her stomach drops when she remembers her mother had seen these. It wasn't like Kay didn't know that she and Roman were hooking up- she wasn't stupid- but now she couldn't deny it. It was there, everyone could see it. Everyone.</p><p>A creak on the floor begs her to push the thoughts away. She exits out before Roman has the chance to see. He would find this all incredibly hilarious. It's not. "What are you doing?" He asks.</p><p>"Just got off the phone with my mom."</p><p>"How is she?"</p><p>"She's fine," Emma says curtly. Roman hasn't bothered to open that can of worms yet.</p><p>"That's good," he says and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. "Are you going to get ready?"</p><p>"Yeah," she groans. "I'm going."</p><p>"Up, up, up!" He encourages. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi, hello.</p><p>First off thank you for being patient with me and reading this. I owe everyone a bit of an explanation for my being MIA for the last two months.</p><p>Covid has changed everyone's life, so I hate to use it as an excuse but it's the truth. I am physically healthy and fine, but mentally exhausted. Some of you know that I work in the film industry, so most of my jobs are contract and so it fluctuates. Covid has destroyed that. I've been and will be out of a job for the foreseeable future.</p><p>Along with that, the world is insane and again my mental health has been effected from it. I feel pretty helpless and unable to change things. It feels almost wrong to write while my country is quickly turning into a fascist state. </p><p>Tldr: Girl lays in self-pity while the world is on fire.</p><p>Again, thank you for your patience. I'm still dealing with these things but I'm dedicated to finishing this story. </p><p>Much love,</p><p>Elia</p><p>PS: you can peep the inspired photos on my tumblr</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Genesis</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"We have to go home," Roman says, waking her from her deep sleep. Emma groans in response and slowly pulls her head out from under the fluffy white pillow blocking the sunlight. Its brightness burns and turns her stomach inside out. Last night turned into an early morning, and now she doesn't want to be awake.</p><p>"What?" Her voice is raspy. She rubs her hands roughly over her face. "Roman," Emma says flatly. "If you put me on a plane right now I will puke the entire flight and I will never forgive you." He holds out his phone for her to look at. Emma takes it and squints to look at it. It's still too much son.</p><p>"Click play," he instructs. With one last huff and glare to up to him, she begrudgingly starts the video.</p><p>
  <em>"I'm here in Hemlock Grove where the body of a young woman has been taken from her grave. The desecration of Christina Wendall's grave was noticed early this morning. As you can see, the headstone has been knocked over and they left a hole in the ground. The casket has been smashed open and the body removed."</em>
</p><p>The screen shows images from the graveyard and the police officers surrounding it.</p><p>
  <em>"Wendall is believed to be the last victim in a string of gruesome deaths two years ago. Twelve other young women were killed similarly within the seven months prior. They appeared to be animal attacks, but the mysterious nature of them led to widespread conspiracy theories. Wendall's parents believe that may be the reason her body was taken. At this time, the police have no leads and ask for anyone with information to come forward."</em>
</p><p>"Okay?" Emma asks, handing him his phone back. She pulls the blanks back to her and closes her eyes to go back to sleep. "That's sad and all but I don't think there's anything we can do."</p><p>"That's what I thought... But, that was almost a week ago," he explains and takes the phone back. "Look at this, Peter sent me it last night."</p><p>It's a news article from the Hemlock Grove paper.</p><p class="">𝟷𝟾 𝚈𝙴𝙰𝚁 𝙾𝙻𝙳 𝙺𝙸𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙳 𝙸𝙽 𝚂𝚄𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝙰𝙽𝙸𝙼𝙰𝙻 𝙰𝚃𝚃𝙰𝙲𝙺.</p><p>𝙷𝚎𝚖𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔 𝙶𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝙿𝙰</p><p>𝙷𝚎𝚖𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔 𝙶𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝙿𝙳 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚟𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚔. 𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚓𝚘𝚋 𝚊𝚝 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕𝚘'𝚜 𝙿𝚒𝚣𝚣𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚊 𝚘𝚗 𝟹𝚛𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚝. 𝙷𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚂𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝙷𝚎𝚖𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔 𝙷𝚒𝚐𝚑'𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚝𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚞𝚖. 𝙸𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍. 𝙿𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚘𝚗 𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚕 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛.</p><p>At first glance it looks like it might be old, it reads eerily similar to the ones from two years ago, but it's not. Emma's mind lingers on that. Had it really been that long ago, or did it just feel that way? Because, at the same time, the memories of the vargulf linger on her mind like a fresh wound. Peter had somehow become an afterthought and was always overshadowed by bigger issues- usually about Roman.</p><p>She feels a sort of regretful nostalgia for how things could have been. Maybe if Roman hadn't shown up drunk to that bonfire... Or if Letha hadn't been pregnant... There are a million different possibilities that could have changed where she right now. Home alone on a Saturday night.</p><p>It doesn't matter now, she supposes.</p><p>"What could we possibly do, anyway?" Emma asks. "We don't even know that the two are related."</p><p>"It's a pretty weird coincidence wouldn't you say?"</p><p>"Yes but-"</p><p>"No buts," he stops her. "We need to go back home and make sure it's safe."</p><p>
  <em>Home.</em>
</p><p>What a strange word. What an unfamiliar word. She wasn't sure where home is right now. Emma will go back to living in one of Roman's guest rooms, but it isn't home. Home isn't at her childhood house, or with her friends, and it's not within herself. It's somewhere different that she doesn't sure exist.</p><p>All of her friends from school are preparing to go back for the fall semester. Apart from a few greetings here and there, she hadn't heard from them. She hadn't heard from her high school friends either. She wasn't sure she missed them.</p><p>The plane ride back is worse than she imagined. He hadn't been human for a while, and watching the absurd amount of vomit Emma is able to produce frighten him. There's no way humans can loose that much and not die, right?</p><p>The Pennsylvania heat was unbearable. Emma could barely step outside without being attacked by mosquitos. So she doesn't. She locks herself inside of Roman's house and even away from him. Peter comes and goes, always heading to work.</p><p>Since their plane landed, Roman and Peter had been sneaking around like they used to in high school. She'd been overall excluded and left alone. Her instinct is to protest their desertion, but she doesn't truly mind. She wasn't entirely sure that she cared to join in. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't care.</p><p>Instead, she daydreams about being away again. With a slight buzz and closing her eyes, it can almost feel real. It's only been a week, but it's the longest she'd gone all summer without being rushed to the airport and taken far away. The air in the house was beginning to feel stale and her mind grew restless.</p><p>Emma's mind lacked the basic stimulation every human needed. She didn't have a job, or school, or even a hobby. It all felt useless. Without Roman to distract her, it was more prevalent than ever. Her life had devolved from that of a promising academic to essentially that of a bored, wealthy, housewife. Wake up, take an upper, watch TV, drink a glass (or four) of wine, try to remember to eat, fuck, drink, sleep. Not always in that particular order.</p><p>It was lonely, she was lonely all the time.</p><p>The only way she had been able to gauge the passage of time was by her chest. It took all summer, but finally cleared of all bruises and raised veins. She still had no answers as to what had happened. A second doctor had repeated what Pryce said, that <em>whatever</em> happened resembled cardiac arrest. She had been fine since. No one seems too concerned, either.</p><p>Roman had too much on his plate to worry about some silly bruising. Nadia was still missing, and every day it became less likely she'd come back. That's what they always say about kidnapped children, anyways. As eager as he was to ignore the problem, Emma wasn't certain he would survive if they didn't find her. She was all he had left of Letha, after all.</p><p>He had hired a private investigator the moment he had come to his senses. The investigator, Isaac, seemed like a real piece of work. Their first meeting, he had almost instantly insulted Destiny by calling her a fraud. Since that first meeting, not much had come to fruition. The guy had dug up previous employment records of Spivack, but they seemed devoid of detail. No one ever checked out this guys credentials.</p><p>Roman comes home from work late one night with take out. He haphazardly sets it on the dinner table and continues on to the kitchen. While he pours himself a clean drink she sets the table like a real adult. Emma watches from the couch with concern.</p><p>"Shelley's- uh... Pryce says Shelley is up and talking again," he says after letting out a hiss. The whiskey was stronger than he remembered.</p><p>"Oh, yeah?" Emma asks. She had never fully understood what happened that night. There was no way to explain it to her without revealing the other lies he'd been keeping. He couldn't handle it at the moment, and he didn't think she could either. "Is she okay?"</p><p>"She's okay. It's just now that she's awake there's a legal matter to be taken care of," Roman says as he uncaps his bottle. "Specifically, custody."</p><p>"Custody?" Emma questions. "Shelley's going to be a legal adult soon."</p><p>"All the more reason to keep her away from Olivia."</p><p>"Are you sure this is a good idea, Roman? I know you're worried, but a legal fight is going to bring up some old things. It's going to get a lot of attention."</p><p>"I won't let her go back. I can't," he says quietly as he looks at the floor. "She doesn't even want to leave."</p><p>"Okay," Emma nods slowly. "You need a lawyer."</p><p>"The Institute-"</p><p>"No, no. You need a family lawyer. And a good one. You don't have a strong case."</p><p>"She's obviously a psychopath." Roman finally takes a seat at the table with her.</p><p>"Yes, <em>we </em>know that. But, you can't admit most of the things that happened, much less prove them." Emma gives him a sympathetic look.</p><p>"Why aren't you backing me up on this? You know Olivia."</p><p>"And that's exactly what I'm saying! Olivia knows she has the upper hand, you're going to have to work twice as hard and be twice as smart. You're not even 20 yet, Roman. It's going to be the court's inclination to return her to her mother."</p><p>"Mother," he scoffs.</p><p>"Roman," Emma says gently. "Does Shelley even want to go with you?"</p><p>"She doesn't want to leave the tower... She'll want to go with me. She knows what Olivia did- could do," he corrects himself quickly.</p><p>"I think they'll consider what Shelley wants, but given her disabilities, and everything that happened with the vargulf, I don't know how much consideration they'll give."</p><p>"You think they'll bring up the attacks?" Emma nods. "She was proven innocent."</p><p>"It's going to be a shit show with the media." She pauses to fill her plate. "You won't be able to protect her."</p><p>The following day, Roman skips out on his CEO duties in favor of finding a lawyer. The truth is, he was terrified of losing Shelley to their mother. Despite everything she had done he feared she would forgive her. Shelley had always been soft like that. Roman had never been.</p><p>He refused to go into this showing any form of weakness.</p><p>A few weeks later, Emma watches from the back of the courtroom as the judge grants custody to Olivia. She had known that would happen. She thinks that deep down Roman had too. He had to of, nothing ever works out right for either of them. The smug look Olivia gets the judge finalizes her decision makes her stomach cramp. Roman masks his disappointment and pain like a champ. She watches in a tense state and waits for an outburst that never comes.</p><p>The older woman glances over her shoulder and winks towards Emma. It's so subtle it seems unlikely anyone would notice. She can't tear her eyes away from the back of Olivia's head. The courtroom is clearing out before she manages to look away. Roman rushes towards this mother and says something inaudible to the world.</p><p>Emma makes her way to the hallway in enough time to see their argument ending. Roman's jaw is clenched still, but Olivia seems unbothered.</p><p>"Fuck you," he spits before storming away from her. Pryce quickly stops him from a further outburst by reminding him of Shelley's fragile mental condition. Olivia watches them with a content smile on her face. She's won another victory.</p><p>With her son's attention occupied elsewhere, she locks her eyes on Emma. "Please, do try and keep him calm," Olivia says as she approaches her. Emma's skin crawls at the coldness of the woman's hands when she presses one to her cheek. She pulls her face away. "I would hate to see him embarrass himself over something so silly."</p><p>"Let's go," Roman says, grabbing her wrist. He pulls her towards the door without looking back. As dreadful as the outcome had been, she's happy it's over. It's much too early for her to be up anyway, there aren't even double digits on the clock yet. Emma desperately craved a plate of savory breakfast food and a mimosa.</p><p>"Let's go out tonight," she suggests. They both pause and look out the glass door to the crowd of reporters. Every media outlet in middle PA seems to have a representative. "We can invite Peter and grab some dinner and drinks."</p><p>"That would be nice."</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You guys remember when Olivia was legally dead then wasn't??? They really did and I shit you not, they ever explained it. Also, wtf was season 3's plot??? There isn't one so I'm just gonna have to make one i guess idk.</p><p>Much love!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. What Gets You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The three old friends sit quietly at a semi-classy bar. It's as nice as a bar in the middle of Pennsylvania can get. There are men in sports jackets and most of the girls wear small black dresses. Peter would never agree to wear anything nicer than his leather jacket.</p><p>Emma sits between the two boys, growing more and more bored by the second. On her right, Peter's nursing his third beer and watching the baseball game playing on TV. To her left, Roman's scrolling through his phone doing nothing in particular. She glances around the room and see's a small group of girls staring at Peter and occasionally glancing at her.</p><p>"I think," Emma puts a hand on his shoulder and leans closer to him with a small smile. "Those girls are staring at you."</p><p>"I think they're staring at Roman," Peter shrugs her off without hesitation. He takes a long sip without even looking in their direction. Emma glance's over to the boy in reference who doesn't look up.</p><p>"Well, he's not looking back." Emma pats him on his shoulder.</p><p>"Yet," Peter scoffs. He'd still been a bit touchy since their last conversation about Miranda. She thinks his ego might be a bit bruised, which is absurd and reasonable at the same time. It hadn't been brought up again and she figured he wanted it to stay that way.</p><p>"You should go talk to one. I'll make sure Roman stays away," she encourages him. Peter finishes the rest of his drink and takes a deep breath.</p><p>"I don't remember how to talk to women."</p><p>"Like you would anyone else?"</p><p>"I don't remember how to do that either."</p><p>"Oh, come on, Peter! You're cute, you're nice! You have a... a rugged bad boy look to you. Just go say hi." Peter grimaces and then nods. She watches from the corner of his eye as he approaches the girls. She gives him a smile of encouragement.</p><p>"Hey, can I buy you a drink?" The guy sitting next to where Peter had been asks. He has quickly jumped over to the abandoned chair and leaning closer to her.</p><p>"She doesn't need you to buy her a drink," Roman snaps before she can open her mouth.</p><p>"I'm sure she doesn't, but it's the polite thing to do."</p><p>"Not interrupting us would be the polite thing to do, but that didn't stop you."</p><p>"Well, she doesn't look like she's having a good time with you," the guy counters. "Are you having a good time with him?</p><p>"I-" Emma shakes her head and tries again.</p><p>"I don't see how that's any of your concern."</p><p>"I think she can answer for herself-"</p><p>"I'm alright," Emma says loudly enough to shut him. She glares at Roman, signaling for him to back off. She turns back to the stranger with a smile. "Thank you, but I'm alright."</p><p>"<em>Asshole,</em>" Roman says under his breath. Emma takes a deep breath and chugs down the rest of her drink.</p><p>"Alright, alright," she says, finally feeling a bit of a buzz. "You feel better now that you've gotten to let out some anger?"</p><p>"That wasn't anger," he scoffs. "It was just- just rude of him to come bother you."</p><p>"Well, it's not exactly like I'm having a great time." Roman's mouth opens to argue, but nothing comes out.</p><p>"Shit," he finally says with a chuckle. "I'm not having a great time either. This bar sucks."</p><p>"Everyone else seems to disagree. I think that it might be user error on our part." The room around them is lively and people are enjoying themselves. It was the two of them sitting glumly at the bar that stood out.</p><p>"Where'd Peter go?" Roman asks.</p><p>"He's over there." She nods towards him. The girl seems interested, she's smiling at least. She shoots him a thumbs up. In the far corner of the bar, there's one woman who stares instantly at Roman. It's nothing unusual, women tend to do that. This one is different, she doesn't stare at him with lust, rather interest. Emma catches her eye- then she's gone.</p><p>"Want another drink?" The bartender offers Roman. She's good at her job, speaking in a way that is suggestive, but not so much to upset a girlfriend. Roman nods. "Another for her as well." The glasses appear quickly and are empty almost as fast.</p><p>"There hasn't been another," he says somberly.</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"The uh... The animal attack. There hasn't been another one, and Destiny can't get a reading on anything."</p><p>"That's good," she says.</p><p>"I'm not so sure about that." Roman motions for another drink. "Christina's body is missing," he says lowly, using the loud music as a blanket. "But there hasn't been another attack. It seems like an isolated incident. Peter couldn't smell anything unusual when he was out."</p><p>"That all sounds positive, Roman."</p><p>"I just have a feeling. I don't want this sneak up on us with everything else going on."</p><p>"I think you should focus on Nadia," she hesitates before saying the child's name.</p><p>"I am-"</p><p>"<em>Just </em>focus on Nadia. If anything else happens we can check it out, but now isn't the time to worry about it."</p><p>"How are you not worried about this?" He asks.</p><p>"Bold of you to assume I'm not." Emma sips at her drink with a smirk.</p><p>"Well, are you?"</p><p>"No," she shakes her head. "Why would I be?"</p><p>"Uh- y'know, maybe the constantly lingering prophecy of your death," he says with a sarcastic casualness in his tone. Emma shrugs, uninterested. "After all this time, you are still a mystery."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>"Of course," he says and picks up his half-empty glass. She mirrors him and clinks them together.</p><p>"What are we toasting to?"</p><p>"Me fucking up the case today-"</p><p>"No, you didn't-"</p><p>"Yes, I did-"</p><p>"I told you from the beginning they're going to be inclined to give custody over to Olivia. It would basically take an act of God to change that."</p><p>"It's just crazy to know all these things about her and not be able to share them." Roman finishes his drink. "If only people knew."</p><p>"If only..." Emma agrees. She wonders what other things Olivia had done that she hadn't seen. She has a hard time imagining that Roman even recognizes his own trauma. Trauma is a heavy word and it lingers like a bitter poison on her tongue. It never feels right to use on oneself. Trauma is what soldiers return home with after a tour in a war-torn country.</p><p>Drinks, drinks, and more drinks. A higher drinking tolerance and a fading tan is all she has left of the summer. Roman's in the middle of a sentence- something or another about work- when she abruptly excuses herself to the bathroom. The bar is more crowded than she'd noticed, and when she finally pushes her way into the bathroom she feels sick.</p><p>Behind the closed stall door, she takes a moment to close her eyes in a pathetic attempt to feel soberer. It works for a moment, but not long enough. She washes her hands slowly and stares at them with all her concentration. When she glances up at her reflection, she sees Olivia Godfrey standing behind her. She frantically turns around, water flying off of her soapy hands, to look for her. But behind her is only a woman waiting for a stall to open.</p><p>Emma offers the now spooked woman a small smile of forgiveness and finishes washing her hands. She walks back to the spot at the bar where had left Roman but he's gone. A panic washes over her that he has left her. She kicks into overdrive to plan how she would get home.</p><p>Luckily, Roman hasn't gone far. He sits on a couch, another drink in hand, and surrounded by women. She stands back to watch the scene unfold. Roman's face shows interest in the conversation around him, but his eyes are lifeless. His laughter holds no weight. It's all an act. It leaves her with a bitter taste in her mouth. No one should be that good at presenting themselves as happy.</p><p>He scoots over to make room for her when she joins him. A friendly and light conversation happens around her, with only mild reactions comprised of hum's and nods coming from her.</p><p>Peter's long gone before they realize he's nowhere in sight. Roman sends a text but doesn't receive a response. Emma feels melted into the grimy leather couch below her. She people watches with a devout interest. Everyone seemed to interact seamlessly. Even Roman looked at ease.</p><p>He must have noticed the way her blinks were lasting longer with each one she took. He taps her shoulder gently, pulling her awake. "You wanna go outside for a minute?" He asks.</p><p>Emma shivers at the light chill outside.</p><p>"Why are you wearing a dress?" He asks after noticing.</p><p>"You picked this out.</p><p>"Oh," he says. "Well, since when do you listen to me?</p><p>He offers her a bump which she gladly takes. Emma would be ashamed of how she looked if she hadn't been wearing designed clothing. Somehow it doesn't feel trashy to do drugs in an alleyway when you have money. Instead of looking junkies, they appear as the cool kids in some shitty 80's teen flick.</p><p>"Apparently for a long time," she jokes. She feels her feet stumble below her but catches herself. "Thank God I didn't listen to you about shoes."</p><p>"Good call." Roman leans back against the wall and lights his cigarette. She doesn't have any room to lecture him about quitting anymore. He takes one drag before throwing it to the ground.</p><p>She runs her hand down the seem of his blazer, feeling every stitch. "You know, the <em>polite </em>thing to do would have been to offer me your jacket."</p><p>"Since when have I been polite?" He smirks. "I don't know what could have given you that impression, but you are sorely wrong."</p><p>"Where the fuck is Peter?"</p><p>"If he doesn't come back soon I will leave him."</p><p>"He can't sleep on the street."</p><p>"Of course not, I saw a doggy daycare down the road from here-" She slaps his arm. "Kidding! I'll call him again before we go. He deserves a night out." Emma nods. "He hasn't tried to meet a girl since..."</p><p>Roman lets his words settle between them.</p><p>Miranda hadn't been mentioned in a long time. Apart from the necessary information for the private investigator, her name had been eliminated from their vocabulary. Emma wasn't sure how he felt about the girl he once tried to love now. She is sure, however, that Miranda was living rent-free in both of their minds.</p><p>Their vacation's often involved coke-initiated sex- usually ending unfinished with someone crashing too hard. During those hookups, Miranda always crossed her mind once. Because who knows what would have happened had she not jumper. Emma does know that because she did, Emma had salvaged her friendship with Roman. If Miranda were still around she wouldn't be.</p><p>Tonight was no exception. Miranda is the first thing on her mind when, after a few more bumps, she decides having sex in an ally isn't the <em>worst </em>thing she could do. For instance, she could have had a threesome with Roman and Peter then jump off of a building. That would be something she could do that was infallibly worse.</p><p>Now, for Roman, Miranda was the last thing on his mind. He had found her impossible to push out completely, but he could stuff it down for a while. It helps that his mind is moving faster than his body and that any thoughts of her only flash by quickly. He's so lost that it takes a while for him to notice a stranger watching them.</p><p>He had never seen this woman before, but she was vaguely familiar. Seeing her felt like recalling a distant memory. Blurry, but focuses enough to stir a feeling in him.</p><p>Right now, it's hard to feel like anyone is human. He's physically hypersensitive, but emotionally he feels vacant. Emma doesn't seem human at that moment. She was just another person. It's easy for him to accidentally create that illusion when she's behaving so out of character. The girl that he had come to the bar with would never blow someone in an ally, but here they were.</p><p>Because of that, Roman doesn't feel guilty. He should. Emma would be furious if she found out he was aware of someone watching them. Well, she was just really watching him. He doesn't want to stare back at this stranger, but something intrigues him about her. Maybe it's the confidence that shows through her actions, or the small smirk she meets his with, but he wants to know what her deal is.</p><p>He maintains eye contact as long as he can. He finishes with his eyes scrunched closed and a small chuckle. When he opens them back up the stranger is gone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Obligatory reminder to always pee after sex and never have sex while either person is under the influence.</p><p>I'm so so sorry this is terrible I'm doing my best</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Off</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emma wakes up with the blinding sunlight beaming through the large, still new, glass windows in Roman's living room. She's buried into the corner of his sofa with Roman's legs stretching out across her legs. The top of her dress hooks awkwardly around her torso as if she had attempted to take it off without unzipping it. Her body is sticky from drying sweat. She hadn't had a nightmare in quite some time, but seeing Olivia yesterday must have triggered a reaction.</p><p>There's a blank in her memory from the night before, she's only vaguely able to recall stumbling back to Roman's car. Her memory ends there and picks up with her dream. It had been so realistic that when she woke she had to assure herself it hadn't been real. She wants to ask Roman about it but is too ashamed of it.</p><p>They were at the mansion for his birthday. They were young and she could almost taste the vanilla and raspberry cake the cook had made. That was real, Emma knows that. They always had that cake for Roman's birthday.</p><p>After that is when things get fucked.</p><p>
  <em>She knows something is not right but can't fully bring the feeling to a head. It's a dull feeling in her gut that what is happening is wrong.</em>
</p><p>"Mr. Godfrey," Anna says stoically, silent as she had approached. "Destiny Rumancek has been calling for you."</p><p>"Calling?" He yawns</p><p>"She's at the front door now." Roman lets out an animalistic and whiney groan.</p><p>"Let her in."</p><p>"Good morning..." She glances between the two of them. "Lovebirds. You look great."</p><p>"Fuck you," Roman says.</p><p>"Anyways," Destiny clicks her tongue. "Is Peter here?"</p><p>"No, he didn't come back with us," Emma answers. "Why?"</p><p>"Honestly you three are so stupid that you would lose your heads if they weren't attached to your body."</p><p>"Just say what it is," Roman says unenthused in his hungover state.</p><p>"We're reliving your and Peter's first date." Destiny smirks and crosses her arms. Roman doesn't react in the way she had expected him to- defensive and flustered- he just has no idea what she's referencing. "We're grave robbing. I missed out on the fun the first time."</p><p>"In my defense," Emma says before standing. "I didn't know about this. And also, it wasn't fun."</p><p>"I didn't think you'd want to go," Roman explains with a small shrug.</p><p>"You're right, I don't." Emma's voice croaks through its dryness. Destiny follows her to the kitchen, leaving Roman behind in the living room. Emma opens the fridge door and, without a second thought, moves past the bottles of filled with an opaque red liquid. It rarely registers with her anymore. She drinks straight from a bottle of orange juice and wipes her mouth after. "Who's?"</p><p>"Huh?" Destiny asks, she's intrigued by the bottles in the fridge. Emma shuts the door quickly before she can look much more. It's not the contents of the bottle so much as the remainder of it. It's only weird when other people point out how weird it is.</p><p>"Who's grave?"</p><p>"Madelaine Tran." Emma recognizes the name despite having only read it that one time. It's surprising to her that they hadn't already done this. It was one of the first things they did last time. She stops herself. There wouldn't be a last time because it was the only time. A 'last time' implies there will be more.</p><p>Without a single word, Destiny can see the protest on Emma's face. "I'm not sure that the vargulf is back... But it's better to be safe than sorry. Hopefully, it's nothing."</p><p>"It's never nothing," Emma whispers back, afraid to hear herself admit it. "We can't catch fucking break." If Roman hears it he pretends to not. He's grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch and is curling into it.</p><p>"It'll be fine," Destiny assures her. "That fucker isn't going to let anything happen to you. I mean I still hate him, but it's true."</p><p>"I'm not worried about me." Emma turns away from her and towards Roman. "Want any coffee?"</p><p>"I think I'm okay. I could go some orange juice."</p><p>Destiny watches in disgust as Emma brings him a glass without protest. He hadn't made her do it, she <em>wanted </em>to. She had even brought him an Advil and sits down on the edge of the couch. "So," Destiny says slowly. "Did you ever hear anything back from that professor of yours?" Emma sits up straight. Her eyebrows raise.</p><p>"I haven't even thought of it..." She admits. "I should probably check."</p><p>"Might be a good idea to..." Destiny mumbles. Emma doesn't hear her remark and, instead, pushes Roman's long hair away from his face.</p><p>"You need a haircut," she notes. He only hums in response. He looks so small at that moment.</p><p>Destiny's lips purse out and into a frown. All drama aside, she does consider Emma to be a friend and feels the need to stop her. The first time they had been alone together she had told her the truth. That "<em>nothing about Roman will bring the world any good. Only pain.</em>"</p><p>She meant that as much as she meant what she had said moments ago. Roman wouldn't let the vargulf hurt her. But that doesn't mean he won't. He's already done so before and will do so again. It doesn't take her abilities to predict that.</p><p>Peter couldn't even see that his two best friends had been hooking up. He had all but forgotten what had happened their senior year. It had all faded into the abyss of grief he had lived in for so long.</p><p>But Destiny hadn't forgotten. In fact, she thinks about it often. She thinks about all the strange things that were said in front of her at her apartment and wonders what had been said when they weren't there. She's not stupid and she knows that Roman knows that. Roman has to know she knows something.</p><p>Destiny doesn't know what happened. She wasn't in the room where it happened. But, she has an idea and it's one that makes her feel like her ribs are cracking open. It makes watching them interact worse. It makes knowing they're regularly fucking more despicable to her.</p><p>It's so obvious to her now. What she had passed off as a silly fight was serious. She hadn't known Emma well enough then to see it. He had in some way, whether emotionally or physically or sexually, caused distraught in her life. Given what she knows about Roman, it had most likely been a mixture of all three.</p><p>And Emma had forgiven him. Destiny hates that. She feels as though she is the only one who sees Roman. How had he gotten himself out of that situation?</p><p>She stands from the couch quickly after remembering they're not alone. "I'll, yeah- I'll check in on it."</p><p>═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══</p><p>Emma says behind while the other three sneak off into the night. She lays on the couch the whole time, pouring herself a glass of wine and watching a reality show. It's the only thing that can momentarily hold her attention. She drunkenly makes herself a frozen pizza. Anna never offered dinner if Roman wasn't there.</p><p>Lacking the patience to wait for it to cool down, she bites straight into the melted cheese. "<em>Mother fucker,</em>" she curses at the burn. She decides then that it is worth the wait, and walks away until it's cool enough to eat.</p><p>Emma decides that now might be the right time to check her school email. Buried beneath pages of junk mail and reminders to register for classes, she sees the one she's looking for.</p><p>𝘔𝘴. 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦𝘳,</p><p>𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭. 𝘈𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘞𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘸𝘢. 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘐'𝘮 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱.</p><p>𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘵, 𝘋𝘳. 𝘓𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯, 𝘗𝘩𝘋. 𝘈𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺.</p><p>𝘜𝘯𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘗𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘴𝘺𝘭𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘢.</p><p>The interest sparks in her then. She hadn't had anything to work on in months, and now she has a lead. The gears turn in her head as she puts down her glass of red wine. Grabbing her whole pizza, she carries it upstairs to her room.</p><p>The effects of the wine are debilitating in her efforts and she grows frustrated. She goes into Roman's room and to his side table. He doesn't even attempt to hide his drugs anymore, they were in plain sight. She mimics the motions she had seen him do so many times. When she's finished and there is a nice line formed, she pauses to reflect on her life choices thus far. <em>Fuck it.</em></p><p>By the time Roman comes home, the sun is coming up. He had spent all night shoveling and then going to Destiny's. He had watched as she released a worm into the jar of that 17-year-olds guts. Unlike last time, he has sympathy for the people left without her in their lives. He feels for her parents, mostly. He had just begun bonding with Nadia and felt that emptiness, he can't imagine the pain of losing a child after 17 years.</p><p>He pulls into his driveway alone, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed from it all. Peter had decided to stay back for a while. He enters quietly, expecting Emma to be in bed. Instead, he finds her pacing around her room with her lights on. The pizza lays abandoned on her side table. "What are you doing up?" His voice scares her.</p><p>"I got a lead," she explains briskly.</p><p>"A lead?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, come here." Emma waves him towards her computer and points at the screen. He leans down to look over her shoulder. On the screen is a webpage alongside at least a dozen opened tabs. The Wikipedia page is for the Minokawa.</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"Winged creature," she says curtly. She clicks on to another tab that is full of illustrations of the creature.</p><p>"He didn't have feathers, remember?"</p><p>"I said it was a lead, not the answer."</p><p>"Okay, okay." He stands up straight and puts his hands up defensively. "Good find, kid. Keep digging."</p><p>"How was grave robbing?" She asks and resumes typing.</p><p>"Good, same ole' same. Destiny's working on everything now." She doesn't respond and just keeps clicking away. He sees on the edge of her desk an old picture frame with a few untouched lines. He recognizes it as the frame that had once housed a photo of her with her college friend.</p><p>"Mind if I..." he nods towards the tray.</p><p>"It's yours," she says.</p><p>"Scoot over." She moves as far as she can without falling off the seat. It's a tight fit, and after a moment of struggling, Roman pulls her into his lap. His hand lingering on her hip does not go unnoticed. "See, Em? College is useless. We could have found this ourselves."</p><p>"But we didn't," she points out. She has to look over her should to see him.</p><p>"We didn't try, but if we had-"</p><p>"You can't do that," she scoffs with a hint of a smile.</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Because it doesn't work like that."</p><p>"Says who?" He smiles triumphantly. "Did your Wikipedia page tell you that?"</p><p>"You're being a child," she says, trying to hide her slight amusement. An actual child."</p><p>"I disagree. I would argue I'm being the most rational person in this room."</p><p>"You can argue with yourself then." Emma crosses her arms. "I've accomplished more than that P.I. you hired. Maybe you should go harass him."</p><p>"That's actually not a bad idea," he reasons. Ochoa had been far from productive, he often seemed more interested in Roman than the investigation. Maybe they didn't actually need him around. It had become difficult to manage the truth with the realistic lies he had to use. It's not like he could tell Ochoa about all the inhuman aspects of Nadia's disappearance.</p><p>"You think you can do a better job than him?" He asks.</p><p>"That's a pretty low bar to set, don't you think?" Roman responds with a pathetic chuckle. "You gonna pay me?"</p><p>"Pay you?" Roman's eyebrows raise. "</p><p>"You've turned me into a drug addict," she says, painfully aware of her own mistake.</p><p>"Me?" He places his hand over his chest, feigning offense. "Me?" He asks again.</p><p>"Yes, you!" She insists. "<em>I would love to have you be my coke whore</em>," she mocks his voice obnoxiously. "<em>Oh, Em, let's get pretend married and then have huge falling out for the attention.</em>"</p><p>"Okay," he puts a finger up to stop her. "Shhh. I said that last one when I was like fourteen-"</p><p>"Seventeen," Emma corrects him. "By the liberalist of estimates, you were seventeen."</p><p>"Whatever." Roman rolls his eyes. "What I'm saying- Well," he stumbles through his words. "At least you have someone willing to feed your addiction. When I first started doing cocaine I had to buy it for myself."</p><p>"Oh, you poor baby." Emma pouts sarcastically.</p><p>"Finally, some fucking sympathy."</p><p>"I don't like how brazen this conversation is."</p><p>"Would you like to go to rehab?" He offers, holding back his light laughter. "I can send you to a nice one. Oh! What about one with horses? That's fancy. That's classy coke whore shit." Roman bites his lip while he waits for her reaction.</p><p>"Wait, wait! Hold up," she stops him. "I've never seen a horse before, so that actually sounds pretty cool." She motions for him to pass her the glass frame.</p><p>"Glad to see you're getting a head start on your rehab application."</p><p>"I'm an overachiever."</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Guys, I hate to be graphic but I want Roman to crack my spine in half. That's it. That's the author's note. I'll go be thirsty somewhere else.</p><p>To be 100% open with you guys, my experience with coke has been pretty limited. And by limited, I mean a single line at a friend's house. I don't know what rich coke addicts do/snort off of. If anyone has any clue I would be more than happy to correct myself.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Church</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter comes back that later morning to find his two friends very naked and in a very compromising position. One that he wishes he could unsee. Somehow, after everything- including an actual threesome with Roman, this felt like a point of no return for him. He couldn't and wouldn't look past this.</p><p>He had known this used to happen in the past, but the present never crossed his mind. He hadn't considered that his two friends had. Peter snaps himself out of it and keeps walking toward his room. He needed to sleep on this. He couldn't fathom how Roman wasn't hung up on Miranda like he was. It had taken months before he hooked up with a stranger, he can't imagine a friend.</p><p>A bit further into the night Emma and Roman had found themselves leaning into the desire exaggerated by the euphoric drug. Any pain was often dulled by that very same euphoria.</p><p>In these cases Emma usually ended up with the brute of it, being smaller and well- <em>more human</em>. Any damage done to Roman's physique would be healed by lunch at the latest. Her's might stick around for a week or so. Luckily, she rarely left the house and didn't worry about it. Her worst had been, by far, a vast stretch of bruises from her color to her chin.</p><p>It had been quite embarrassing for her and quite shameful for him. It was a lesson they hadn't learned.</p><p>Roman's forehead has a thin sheer of swear across it. He had bit his bottom lip so much that it had a raw cut on it. Emma lays with the side of her face buried in the duvet. Her throat was exposed and elongated. He clasps it with his right hand. She didn't like it, he knew that, but it's all he can do to bury the temptation.</p><p>Her mind doesn't react immediately, but when it does it's in a frenzied fit. She wrestles her way free then shoves him down and on his back. "Never," she growls. Her dominant hand raises to his neck and grips it tight enough to make him jump. "Never do that again. Understand?"</p><p>"Yes ma'am," he rasps. He had tried to sound sarcastic but he couldn't. This was something he'd never experienced before and never thought would do it for him. In other words; Roman Godfrey was always the choker and never the choked. His inhibitions fly out the window and he settles on giving in to it.</p><p>But now he sees what had been there all along. Legs go stiff and a new kind of lust rushed through his body. His large hands tremble as he grasps at whatever open skin he can. And for the first time he finds himself truly desperate, repeating <em>please </em>over and over like some sort of a prayer to a God he doesn't believe in. When she reaches over his torso to grasp at the headboard he timidly catches one of her nipples between his lips.</p><p>When Peter rises for the rest of the day he's not surprised to see his friends crashed out in bed. It's pathetic looking, really. Both lay naked and face down on top of the blankets despite them being untucked. Pathetic. He wonders if they even meant to fall asleep or even finished.</p><p>The house is suffocating and needs out. He decided to check in with Destiny. Not enough time has passed for there to be any updates, but he needs out.</p><p>Seated at Destiny's table, he takes a sip of his coffee then clears his throat. She's moving around the kitchen trying to throw dinner together before Andreas get's home. If he even came home. "Did you know?" Peter asks without looking at his cousin.</p><p>"I'll remind you once again that I do not read minds."</p><p>"About Roman and Emma," he clarifies. Destiny looks at him and quirks her head.</p><p>"Did you not?" He shakes his head. "Really?"</p><p>"Well, I mean I knew in the past but I didn't know now..."</p><p>"Oh, Peter," she sighs and comes towards him1. She ruffles his hair and looks at him with patronizing pity. "You are so stupid."</p><p>"I am not! I just didn't think about it."</p><p>"They're always on vacation. They're barely functioning addicts, what did you think they were doing? Learning how to surf?"</p><p>"I went on a couple of those!" He argues. His mind flicks quickly through the memories trying to find a hint of anything. "Nothing out of place there."</p><p>"So what's the issue? You jealous?" She jokes.</p><p>"No, Em's a friend."</p><p>"Who said I was talking about Emma?"</p><p> </p><p>.....</p><p> </p><p>Peter comes back to Roman's after dinner. He's stunned to see Roman nuzzled in tight to Emma's side. He's holding the TV remote and she has a glass of water. When they hear the door close he doesn't move. Peter sits at a chair across from them bent over with his elbows on his knees. "What've you been up to?" Roman asks.</p><p>"Went see Destiny."</p><p>"How is she?"</p><p>"She's good. Everything will be ready tomorrow afternoon. "</p><p>"That's good," Roman comments softly. Peter watches as Emma's fingers mindlessly play with his hair. He notices a pink bruise with blue blooming around it on her wrists. She catches his glance and quickly moves her hand down to her side. He looks away.</p><p>"We should talk about Nadia," Peter says rather abruptly. Roman's mouth opens like he meant to speak but couldn't. "I'm worried about how long it's taking to get any answers."</p><p>"Me too," Roman says. He sits up straight and mimics Peter's pose. "What are you suggesting?"</p><p>"We haven't really looked too far back into Miranda's history," Emma suggests.</p><p>"You think she was in on it with Spivak?"</p><p>"I don't think so, but I won't rule it out. He took her with him for a reason.</p><p>"She's breastfeeding Nadia," Peter reminds her.</p><p>"There's formula," she reminds them. "He needed her here for a reason. What are the odds she had a car accident then showed up here? He knew something before she even got here..."</p><p>"I think you're right," Roman says. "Plus, has Ochoa contacted old coworkers of Spivak's? Or just records</p><p>"She could be there out of convenience," Peter suggests.</p><p>"Well, then I'm sure <em>she's </em>quite fine then. She's used to being somewhere out of convenience," Emma says. Both of the boys look down at the floor in discomfort. Emma glances between the two of them and takes a long sip of water. <em>Destiny would have thought it was funny. </em>She shoots up suddenly. "The blood!"</p><p>"Huh?" The boys both ask.</p><p>"She sold plasma- He must have found her that way. He was looking for someone like her."</p><p>"How do you know that?" Roman asks.</p><p>"I saw it in her bag when I went through her stuff," she says as if he should have known. "And, yes, I did go through her things. Let's move on from it."</p><p>"What makes Miranda that way? What could cause <em>her </em>to be the one."</p><p>"Who knows," Emma shrugs. "Maybe we can ask her when we find her."</p><p>"Great detective skills, guys" Roman mutters. He sits up and crosses his arms. "But it's not going to help us find Nadia."</p><p>"We just-" Emma thinks. "How do we talk to old coworkers?"</p><p>"Uh-" Peter starts. "We'll just cold call."</p><p>"That could work." Roman nods. "Can we eat? I'm starving."</p><p>Emma ends that conversation embarrassed about her behavior- not that she'd let anyone see. She hadn't meant to insult Miranda like that. She'd been feeling strange since she fell asleep that morning. She hadn't crashed nearly as quickly as Roman had. For a while, he sleeps while she stares up at the ceiling. She's still too high and a bit aroused to sleep. She had laid there next to him trying to decide if she wanted to get up and shower. Or at least get dressed.</p><p>When she does fall asleep it's a fitful one. She wakes covered in more sweat and feeling ill beyond a crash. Roman had stumbled back to his room leaving her alone. Emma forces herself up and to the shower, regretting it almost immediately.</p><p>Roman disappears that night. He doesn't tell her where he's going- doesn't even tell her he's leaving. She feels to thrown off by it to even text and ask. It's odd.</p><p>Of course, this is all intentional from Roman. There was no way to explain to her why he's doing this. He doesn't have an explanation for himself. '<em>Yeah, Em, I'm actually going to find a woman that watched you blow me</em>' would not go over is well. Something about her had felt familiar, and Roman's too suspicious to let it go. What if she knew something? She could know something about Nadia.</p><p>As the bartender pours him a glass of whiskey he asks about her. The man struggles to identify her. <em>Brown hair, about this tall,</em> isn't exactly helpful. He decides to press his luck and get another drink. Maybe she'd show up. When there's no sign of her in the early hours of the morning he leaves. He'll come back tomorrow.</p><p>His house is silent when he gets back. He passes by the guest bedrooms on his way to bed. He peaks his head in both of the occupied ones to make sure everyone's safe. Though he tried to hide it, he was more paranoid than before. Not only because of the cult but the thought that Spivak might take someone else. The cult was gone, but Spivak was very real.</p><p>Then there was the possibility of the vargulf. Hopefully, they would get good news in the afternoon. Hopefully, it would be a real animal attack. He doesn't need another reason to worry about his friends. Peter hadn't changed out of cycle in a while, this might trigger it. If the vargulf was back, it would put Peter in a difficult position.</p><p>It also brought to a head a thought Roman had lingering deep down- that since the vargulf has died that left Peter as a bit of a suspect. Emma was supposed to die on a full moon, Peter was the only one left that was a risk. There was a reason Roman had found an excuse to get them out of town on those days.</p><p>Roman gets undressed to his boxers and stares up at the ceiling. A burn lingers in his throat, a little bit of thirst. He needed to feed soon but he couldn't without thinking about what he was drinking. Pryce had been working to get the texture smoother and had made some progress. Without the solid bits, he could almost ignore it.</p><p>Before he knows it, it's time to go to work. He wants to call out, but he had meetings and was trying to do better. They had finally begun getting new investors. Apparently, looking like a present CEO is a good sign to them. The interest in the company had been going up as well. All of these public appearances had been driving up visibility and that in turn would drive up value.</p><p>It wasn't intentional. Roman just wanted to go on vacation, and to dinners when he could get some of the attention he so desperately craved. He hadn't thought it would materialize like this.</p><p>He nods along numbly at the meetings. His assistant is the only reason they happen. He comes and reminds him when to go and where to go. Roman stares out the window as the group around him discuss a cleanup plan. He and Olivia's custody battle had not been a good look. They suggest bringing back the gala to distract everyone from it.</p><p>"Absolutely not," Roman says stiffly. It's the first time he's spoken, and it shocks everyone. "No gala."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p><em>Why not?</em> He thinks to himself. Probably because it felt wrong to host a party while his daughter is missing. It also doesn't help that he knows what goes on deep in the basement of this building. Surely Pryce has begun building a new Prycilla and who knows what else.</p><p>Roman had never cared about that before. He used to ignore all the questionable shit that his workers did, and for the most part he still does. But this project felt immoral on levels Roman didn't know he was capable of feeling.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Emma asks. Her head is popped out of her door and it startles him.</p><p>"I'm going to run to the tower," he lies smoothly. "Something came up."</p><p>"Okay." He can tell she's not buying it, but it doesn't matter. He can't tell her. She just- <em>she wouldn't understand.</em></p><p>Again, he waits and waits and waits. She doesn't show and he goes home defeated. He'll be back tomorrow.</p><p>Left alone, Emma's decided to take things into her own hands. Literally. She cleans off the razor had been used on occasion to cute coke. She grips it tightly in her right hand until she feels the sharp pain .She hadn't toyed with the thought since they had been at the cult safe house, and it had been on accident then. But something is missing in her. It was as if it had been cut from the core of her body and pushed to sea. She stares up at the ceiling while gripping one of Roman's pristine, white towels in her hand.</p><p>Memories materialize before her. They fall down in a flurry until they form around her like a snow globe.</p><p>She isn't a part of the scene unfolding before her. She watched as the sole member of the audience. It feels lonely. She sees her younger self flash by and wants so desperately to stop her and warn her. But of what? What could she say that would really prepare her? Or even stop her. If she had the opportunity to change things, would she?</p><p>What event had triggered this spiral? Things had been fine before Peter came to Hemlock Grove. But would that have changed things? Someone would still have gotten pregnant and died during childbirth. It would still spiral Roman out of control. Even if she had ended her friendship with Roman before things became bad for her Olivia wouldn't care. She might have even pushed Emma to forgive him. All roads led her here. Everything was out of her hands.</p><p>As her thoughts fade towards the more personal effects of those decisions she realized that a whole altercation had begun to occur.</p><p>"She's a child, Olivia," she hears JR scoff from across the room. "He's a child."</p><p>"Yes, for now," Olivia replies cooly. "Not forever."</p><p>"You can't make my son like you," he says. "I won't let you turn him into- into whatever it is you are."</p><p>"I can and I will." Emma can hear the determination and confidence in her voice. "With, or without you. You've done your part, J.R."</p><p>"I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not going to let you manipulate me anymore."</p><p>"Yes, you will. Don't forget that I'm not like you, or that I am stronger than you. Now, now. You're going to be a good boy and listen to me. You're going to be here until you die or I finally kill you. Go back to your office and do your little paperwork. While you go about your pathetic, meaningless, human life, I'll make sure Roman is raised how I see fit. Don't question me again."</p><p>JR storms out of the room, looking defeated. Olivia turns her attention to the two children that had sat staring at them. She comes forward and kneels before them. She's graceful even in her thin heels. "Now, you two are going to forget that silly conversation. Why don't you two go swimming?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Peter talking to Emma and Roman: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJy484wH/</p><p>Roman Godfrey 🤝 Being a bottom</p><p>All jokes aside, thank you for reading!!! Please feel free give any feedback/roast me!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Anywhere</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the morning, Emma's hand has a dull pain and a pulse. She sits up and takes a big stretch. Despite the heavy dreams, she feels rested. On her bedside table, she seeson the clock that it's only 8:00 AM. It's earlier than she's been up in months, yet there's no headache or general malaise. She just feels good.</p><p> </p><p>Peter's already in the living room eating a bowl of cereal. He has to be at work in an hour and intends to soak up everyone of those moments. Being a full time 'can I crash at your place' kind of guy had been rather generous on his savings account. Roman's in the kitchen having one of his special drinks.</p><p> </p><p>They had both just gotten back from Destiny's apartment. Roman had watched first hand that morning what exactly Destiny could do. Over the past two years he had seen her do some weird shit but this was on a new level. All he could do was stand back as her body convulsed and her face took on the vague features ofMadeline Tran's corpse.</p><p> </p><p>Roman's head jerks up and he makes a bee-line towards her. He grabs her injured hand and raises it up to examine it. "What happened to your hand?" He pushes the poorly wrapped cotton aside.</p><p> </p><p>"I cut it yesterday while making a snack."</p><p> </p><p>"What kind of snack?"</p><p> </p><p>"A sandwich," she thinks quickly. "I accidentally grabbed the wrong end." Roman looks at her skeptically. "Okay, I was a little drunk."</p><p> </p><p>"It's a good thing you didn't need stitches." Roman lets go of her hand.</p><p> </p><p>"Luckily, I know a guy who owns a hospital." He chuckles quietly. "How did everything go?"</p><p>Roman and Peter lock eyes at her question.</p><p> </p><p>"Not great," Peter says with a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>"There's no way to be sure until one of us see's it-" Roman tries to think positively.</p><p> </p><p>"But all signs point towards it," Peter counters, not wanting to have a false hope. "Whatever animal it was had white fur and unless a polar bear escaped from a zoo-"</p><p> </p><p>"The vargulf is back," Emma says, tired of them dragging it out. "We can't worry about that right now."</p><p> </p><p>"We can't worry?" Peter asks. "Em, it's going to kill people!"</p><p> </p><p>"Nadia has to be your first priority," she reminds him. "You two worry about Nadia." She moves past Roman and to the kitchen. He follows behind her.</p><p> </p><p>"You know we can't ignore this." Roman leans on the counter. His eyes follow her as she searches through cabinets for something to eat."Not for long, anyways."</p><p> </p><p>"Listen." She leans back on the counter. "Every day she's gone she's less likely to come back. You know that. You have to pick your battles, Roman. You can't do it all."</p><p> </p><p>"I don't understand how you can stay so relaxed about this."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm not relaxed. I haven't been relaxed in two years."</p><p> </p><p>"You realize the danger you're in, don't you?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm picking my battles," she quips.</p><p> </p><p>"Regardless, from now on you're leaving when the full moon comes."</p><p> </p><p>"And going where?" She scoffs. As if she's going to let him ship her off somewhere once a month for the remainder of her life.</p><p> </p><p>"Anywhere," Roman says and walks out of the kitchen. "I have to go to work. This isn't a debate," he tells her.</p><p> </p><p>"Roman Godfrey," she calls out and comes towards him. "I am a grown woman and I will not be ordered around like-" He walks out the door and slams it behind him. "A dog..." She mumbles.</p><p> </p><p>"That's offensive to me," Peter says.</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry," Emma says sarcastically.</p><p> </p><p>"He's right. You should go."</p><p> </p><p>"That doesn't mean he should order me." Emma's stomach rumbles, reminding her of her original plan to find food.</p><p> </p><p>"You two are so stubborn," Peter's eyes follow her. "Always looking for a reason to be mad at each other." She halts midway through opening the cabinet she had stopped at.</p><p> </p><p>"Did he say he's mad at me?" She asks.</p><p> </p><p>"No," Peter assures her quickly. "No."</p><p> </p><p>"Did he say anything about me?"</p><p> </p><p>"No," Peter swallows.</p><p> </p><p>She had came up that morning, but only when Roman specifically said to not tell her. His loyalty is stronger to Roman, though. That's not to say that either one was a better friend, rather it was due to the sole fact that Roman had been around when Emma had disappeared. Of course that disappearance had turned out to be well warranted. In the end, she had been right about Miranda. That was just another thing he and Roman shared.</p><p> </p><p>"So, wait. You've been going out overnight to try and meet some woman you saw at a bar?"</p><p> </p><p>"It's not like that."</p><p> </p><p>"There are a lot of girls that are a lot easier to meet that will fuck you. Just pick one of them."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm telling you Peter, there's something special about her."</p><p> </p><p>Roman goes in to the tower hoping to get a moment alone with his sister. She still had regular appointments with Dr. Pryce. It was the only time she was away from Olivia. He goes straight to the basement and to the room she was always in. He knocks on her door and waits for her to say 'come in.'</p><p> </p><p>"Roman!" She jumps up from her seat to hug him. He hugs her tightly and pats her back gently. "I've missed you."</p><p> </p><p>"I've miss you too. How are you? How is everything?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm okay," she assures him. "Mom's actually being really helpful and kind. I think she's really trying."</p><p> </p><p>"I hope so." Roman forces out a smile. He has no such hope. Olivia will never redeem herself. "What are you doing? How are you spending your days?"</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I'm reading a lot. I'm about to start studying for my GED."</p><p> </p><p>"That's great, Shel!"</p><p> </p><p>He spends a bit of time with his sister, catching up on what little had changed in the last few days. Shelley was still largely in the dark about- well, about everything. She had to bursting at the seems with questions that she knew she would not get answers to. Roman could tell she was terribly lonely. Having Prycilla had taught her what having a friend was like. To lose her hurt more than he could imagine.</p><p> </p><p>He assumes Pryce or their mother must have shared with her what happened to Nadia, because she hasn't asked. He doesn't know how he would explain it to her if she asked. Shelley's disappointment would be strong, and it would weigh heavy on him. She never pushes, though. She was the only one.</p><p> </p><p>Upstairs, he has a busy day ahead of him. It's time for him to evaluate this quarters budget. Then, in the afternoon, he has to meet with the small committee that's been put together to evaluate whether building an additional wing to the hospital was good investment. He isn't really needed nor wanted at either, he had become very hands off since Nadia had been taken, but that doesn't matter to Roman. He still wants people to know that he was in charge.</p><p> </p><p>When he gets home, he and Peter have agreed to begin calling old coworkers to Spivak's. Then, later that night, he's going back to the bar. He promises himself he won't stay too long.</p><p> </p><p>The feeling of refreshment Emma had felt that morning passes quickly. It's only a matter of hours before she's laying on the couch with a migraine and an stiff ache in her bones.In the silence, she keeps cycling back to what Peter had said that morning. She had been trying to shut the thoughts down and deny them, but they were undeniable. She had been eager to be angry at Roman. It always natural. It was also easy when he seemed ready to provide her with a reason.</p><p> </p><p>When Roman gets home from work, he goes straight to his office.</p><p> </p><p>He digs through the files Ochoa had provided him, looking for Spivaks old employers. The last two offices he had worked in had been privately owned by him. He's in there for what only feels like minutes with Anna knocks on the door. "Will you be eating dinner tonight or would you like me to save you a plate? Ms. Parker has been waiting."</p><p> </p><p>"What time is it?"</p><p> </p><p>"Almost 8:00."</p><p> </p><p>"Shit," Roman whispers to himself. "Just save me a plate." He leaves the house without a word and goes straight to the bar.</p><p> </p><p>Emma's sitting at the dining room table when he rushes out the door. The motion catches the corner of her eye but he's gone before she can turn to him. Anna drops a plate in front of her, but she's lost her appetite. "Did he say where he was going?"</p><p> </p><p>"He didn't say he was leaving," the older woman says.</p><p> </p><p>"Interesting," Emma whispers to herself.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, very interesting."</p><p> </p><p>Emma's having a hard time burying her concern. She doesn't think it's anything involving Nadia, or even the vargulf. Peter had come home earlier and hadn't left with him. Roman would have taken him along if it was. This was something personal, and if Roman searching for answers alone so could she.</p><p> </p><p>At the bar, Roman is sitting alone when a young woman approaches. She leans across the bar to order a drink, breasts purposefully positioned towards him. He doesn't pay any attention to her. His mind is busy enough as is. Once she has a drink, she huffs away without a word. He's amused but it fades quickly. Joy is spontaneous these days.</p><p> </p><p>"Where is your girlfriend?" A woman asks, a thick French accent layering over it. He knows it's her before she sits next to him. He looks over at her, breath hitching in his throat. She's as beautiful and as entrancing as he remembered. Possibly more so.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't have a girlfriend," he chuckles and takes a drink. He doesn't want to look as intrigued as he is.</p><p> </p><p>"No?" She asks and takes a sip of her own.</p><p> </p><p>"No," he confirms. "I'm Roman-"</p><p> </p><p>"Godfrey," she finishes for him. "I know."</p><p> </p><p>"Is that a plus or a minus?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm still deciding." They stare at each other for a moment. Something about her is familiar and comforting. "You have been looking for me," the woman states. Roman sits quietly. "Why?"</p><p> </p><p>"You say that like it's a bad thing. Where are you from?"</p><p> </p><p>"Take a guess."</p><p> </p><p>"Heaven?" He shrugs with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>"You can do better than that."</p><p> </p><p>"I know," his smirk falls but his confidence doesn't. "I just usually don't have to." Before he has time to speak his phone begins buzzing in his pocket. He attempts to ignore the call, but he sees Pryce's name appear. It could be something to do with Shelley. "Give me a moment."</p><p> </p><p>"Are you really going to answer that?"</p><p> </p><p>"It's important, just one second." He puts up a finger for good measure. He answers the phone as he walks a few feet away. "What?"</p><p> </p><p>"Roman," Pryce starts. "I call bearing bad news."</p><p> </p><p>"What is it?" The tone in Pryce's voice doesn't seemed to concerned.</p><p> </p><p>"Your nutrient will be running late this month. I suggest you spread out what you have."</p><p> </p><p>"Why the fuck," he growls. "Is it running late?"</p><p> </p><p>"Remember all the times you've asked me to make it better? This happens to be part of that process."</p><p> </p><p>"Look-" he pauses to calm himself down. "Look, I don't have much left. How long are we talking?"</p><p> </p><p>"Two weeks."</p><p> </p><p>"Two weeks?" Roman asks. He roughly pulls at his long hair. "Can't you speed it up? Don't you have back ups?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm running on cells that slowly regenerate. Some of these are what, 14 years in the making? It takes time, Roman."</p><p> </p><p>"What am I supposed to do until them?"</p><p> </p><p>"I can get you a bag from the donation bank, but know it'll make going back to synthetic harder."</p><p> </p><p>"Get it to me. I can handle it." Roman hangs the phone up and turns back to the bar. The seat next to him is empty now. He looks around the bar but there's no sign of the woman anywhere.</p><p> </p><p>"She left," the bartender said. "She's not the kind of girl that has to wait around."</p><p> </p><p>"Ain't that right," Roman mumbles and shakes his head. He throws a couple of bills, well more than his tab is worth, on the bar and leaves. He didn't even get her name, but she knew his. She hadn't said it like most girls did. There was no hint of being impressed by him or his money. It was just a statement. It confirms his belief that she had been there for a reason. He was supposed to meet her. She'd find him when it was time for her to.</p><p> </p><p>They're at a nice restaurant. Somewhere far away from Hemlock. The walls are blurry and it's disorienting. Roman's voice is distant, like it's underwater. He's ordering food. "And for you?" The waiter looks at Emma.</p><p> </p><p>"I'll have-" she starts, suddenly remembering what she wants.</p><p> </p><p>"She," Olivia interrupts. "Is going to get the Greek salad with the dressing on the side." Emma sits awkwardly watching as the decision is being made for her. Most of all, she's upset that she's not going to get mashed potatoes. Olivia must have noticed her disappointment because she leans towards her and lowers her voice. "It's good for you. It's healthy. You want to be healthy, don't you?" Emma nods half heartedly.</p><p> </p><p>The memory of her awkwardly walking around in a swimsuit flashes through her mind. They're on vacation. She can feel the discomfort she had in real life. Olivia often bought her clothes for these things, and they were often not something she felt good in.</p><p> </p><p>Then, she's fifteen and laying in Roman's bed. She's sick with the flu. Olivia had insisted she stay over so her mother wouldn't have to worry. Roman's gone off somewhere, enjoying the freedom his new driver's license . Olivia knocks gently on the door and doesn't wait for a response. She comes in carrying a steaming mug. She hands it to Emma.</p><p> </p><p>"Drink up," Olivia encourages her. The liquid in her cup is putrid but she can't help but keep drinking it. It burns like pure alcohol.</p><p> </p><p>"What's in this?"</p><p> </p><p>"It's a tea. White roses, lilac, garlic... It's an old Romanian recipe, my mother made it for my sister on her wedding night."</p><p> </p><p>"You have a sister?" Roman had never mentioned any aunts.</p><p> </p><p>"Had a sister," she corrects her. "She died a long time ago." She takes the empty cup from Emma's hands. "You'll drink that for nine days. It will make you better."</p><p> </p><p>"Okay," Emma agrees.</p><p> </p><p>"Look at you," Olivia almost coo's. Her hand pushes Emma's hair back, damp from the sweat her fever caused. "You're growing into such a lovely young woman. Be thankful you're pretty. It makes everything so much easier, take it from me." Emma offers her the small laugh she knows Olivia expects. "Such a waste," Olivia says with a half frown.</p><p> </p><p>Then, there's a buzz. A dull noise that moves in a wave that matches the slight flickering of a fluorescent light. The smell of disinfectant and antiseptics washes over her. She's being pushed forward on a bed, someone's large hand grips hers. It's comforting. The familiar tone of Roman's father's voice hums in indiscernible patterns.</p><p> </p><p>Emma awakes to the sound of the front door closing. It's barely audible but it pulls her back to the real world. She makes her way down the hallway towards Roman's room, unsure of what she'll find. He could be covered in blood, or with a girl, or a million things in between.</p><p> </p><p>It's much less interesting than she expected. His door is wide open and he sits at the edge of his bed untying his shoes. "Where have you been?" She asks, leaning against his door frame.</p><p> </p><p>"I had some work stuff come up," he lies with ease. He's rehearsed over the past few nights. "What are you doing up?"</p><p> </p><p>"Couldn't sleep."</p><p> </p><p>"You should talk to a doctor, that's not healthy." She snorts at this. Roman had no room to talk.</p><p> </p><p>"I'll get right on that."</p><p> </p><p>"You're having dreams again, aren't you?" Emma crosses her arms. She glances around uncomfortable but doesn't answer. "Are they about Nadia? The vargulf?"</p><p> </p><p>"No," she says dryly. She subconsciously ungrips her hand, exposing her fresh injury to the air. Roman squirms at the slight scent of the drying blood. He's only this aware when he's gone too long without feeding. It would only get worse from here.</p><p> </p><p>"When did you realize you were doing it?" He asks.</p><p> </p><p>"Doing what?"</p><p> </p><p>"The blood. When did you start doing it on purpose?"</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know what you're-"</p><p> </p><p>"Don't play dumb," he cuts her off. "I know you better than that."</p><p> </p><p>"A few months ago, I guess. I don't know that I buy it."</p><p> </p><p>"After everything you've seen this is where you draw the line?" He laughs. "This is too far?"</p><p> </p><p>"No. It's just- I'm not- I don't have any gifts like you and Peter and Destiny do. That's not me."</p><p> </p><p>"Then why are you trying to? Clearly somethings happening."</p><p> </p><p>"The dreams are important to me."</p><p> </p><p>"Em," Roman says and pats the empty space beside him for her to sit. "I don't understand what you're trying to find out."</p><p> </p><p>"I don't either," she admits. "I just can't shake the feeling that I'm forgetting something. There's nothing your hiding from me, making me forget, right?"</p><p> </p><p>"No," he assures her even though it's not true. He reassures himself that she's better off not remembering. "It's been a stressful couple of years, it still is. That's why you took time off from school, remember? So you could relax."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm bored." Roman looks at her in disbelief. There's so much going on around the, how is she bored? "I don't have anything to do during the day."</p><p> </p><p>"You should go visit your mom," he suggests. "You haven't seen her in a while."</p><p> </p><p>"No." She shakes her head. She hadn't heard from her mother since she called to tell her about the photo's. It seemed like Kay had given up on her end. Emma feels guilty about that but she's much too stubborn to admit it. She shouldn't be mad at her, but it's too late now.</p><p> </p><p>"You just need to relax. That's all."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading!!!! And being patient with me. I love you guys so much, thank you for letting me write this.</p><p>I posted this on my Wattpad, but basically I decided that for every comment/like on any of my stories I get I'll donate a dollar to Every Last Vote which works to battle voter suppression efforts across the county. If you have a Wattpad and are feeling wacky I would really appreciate it. Unfortunately ao3 doesn’t have the same liking system but I’ll do the same thing for comments here.</p><p> </p><p>Much love!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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